When my son T was younger, we managed his hair in the simplest way. We took the clippers and buzzed it off. Then it would grow a little shaggy and we’d buzz it again. Somewhere along the way, T decided that he hated having his hair buzzed off and around age 8 he refused to let us touch it.
He didn’t want us to cut it or brush it. I guess we were the haircut monsters and so he wanted us to keep our distance from his precious hair.
At first it was just a bit overgrown. It was thick and poofy but didn’t look like a boufaunt or anything. Just shaggy boy hair. So we let it go.
Then it got longer. And longer. He still wouldn’t let us cut it.
I wasn’t a fan at first. It was constantly in his eyes and I wanted to see those eyes looking back at me. I missed his face as it was always covered up.
But his hair. Wow, he has got some gorgeous hair.
Thick and soft. Flowing. Honestly, I would LOVE to have his hair.
We did end up getting him to trim his hair before summer camp because the rule there is that you have to put your hair in a braid if it is long and he was not fond of that idea. But during the summer some girls complained that he didn’t have to wear his hair up so he ended up using a swim cap instead.
Now he’s letting it continue to grow. I’ve gotten used to it and must admit that long hair suits him. I can see his face now that it is longer and doesn’t just cover him like Cousin It so my initial issues are gone.
But now I have another issue.
Why does everyone assume my son with the long hair is a girl?
At first it was just a few times but it is becoming more frequent. Each time he tells the person “I’m actually a boy” which is good that he is standing up for himself and correcting them. They usually apologize and move on. One person made a comment about having to be “Politically Correct” which really bugged me because it has nothing to do with that, you referenced a boy as “she” and he corrected you. I mean, really, come on now.
It reminds me of when my niece had short hair and would dress in her older brother’s hand me downs. She would get mistaken for a boy. Why is it that hair length somehow indicates gender? Or the “girliness” of your clothes?
It just bugs me. He says it bothers him when people think he is a girl but I assure him that it really doesn’t have much to do with him because they just really aren’t paying attention if they make that mistake.
He doesn’t want to change his hair because of it which is good because he is trusting his own feelings and not being influenced by what others think. I’ve even heard him mention possibly growing it enough to donate it which fills my heart.
I hope he keeps his confidence in himself and continues to ignore those who aren’t seeing him clearly enough to address him correctly.
It’s their loss that they don’t take the time to really look at him because it means they won’t take the time to know him either.