Working on my Migraines

It’s been a rough few months for the old noggin.  In order to be able to function I must admit I’ve been taking to many abortive and rescue meds for my migraines.  With my neurologist we’ve been trying various preventatives without success.

I’ve been using a CPAP machine to treat mild apnea and help my headaches without success.

Been seeing a chiropractor for a couple of years now without impact on my headaches.

Tried preventatives like Candesartan and Gabapentin which had side effects that I couldn’t handle.

I’ve been taking Melatonin at night for several months and that first week I had 4 blissful days without head pain but then it settled back into the status quo.

So after my last appointment my doctor had me use Prednisone for 8 days and stop taking all abortive and rescue meds.  IT SUCKED.  But I did get through it.  Sleeping a lot and basically doing nothing but deal with the pain.

But then after that I had to get back to being functional and taking medication to get through the days.

So I decided to try something I hadn’t before.  I went to two sessions of hypnotherapy.  It was really interesting.

I’m pretty open to it because I’ve felt for a long time that my mind and body were out of sync.  Like my body turned on me.  And the therapist talked about the conscious vs subconscious mind and how difficult it is to change the habits of the subconscious mind. So I was ready to let her shove all kinds of positive messages down into that subconscious negative Nancy of mine.

I can definitely notice a difference in my thinking.  I’m much more able to redirect my negative thinking and I do feel more capable than before.  No impact on my pain yet but because of the vicious cycle of anxiety, depression and migraines that feeds on negativity I seem to always be in, I am hopeful that positivity can help to break the cycle and create some change.

We shall see.  I need to keep working on my thoughts and creating positivity from within.  Get back to daily meditation.  Keep on moving forward.

And, hopefully, leave the pain behind.

Reach Out Because Depression Lies

When I saw the news about Robin Williams’ suicide, I immediately looked for some evidence that it was a cruel hoax.  Another fake internet death.  Then more and more news outlets were reporting the same thing and I cried.  I was devastated that someone so full of life, that made the world laugh, had succumbed to the darkness of Depression.

I first saw the phrase “Depression lies” from The Bloggess.  She is a fierce advocate of mental health causes.  She is a sufferer herself and when I read her words, it is as if they are from my own mind.  She is absolutely right, Depression lies.

Depression says:

You are worthless.

You are not worthy of love or friendship.

You never do anything right and are a failure.

You are a burden to those around you.

Everyone you love would be better off without you.

Things will never, ever get better.

And the list of lies goes on and on.

When the evil shadow of Depression is whispering in your ear, it is difficult to fight the darkness.  The darkness is all-consuming.  You are drowning in it.

It is hard to remember that you will rise from the abyss and find the light again.  You may be scared that it won’t happen but I promise you it will.  The light is there.  Waiting for you.  It will always be there.

I have struggled with depression for many years now and the awful, terrible thoughts have entered my mind.  But I keep fighting and go on.

I always find the light.

I am so grateful that I have been able to reach out to people to help me through those awful thoughts.  Through the lies of Depression.

Please, I beg you, before you act you must speak.

Speak to anyone.  Call the Suicide Hotline.

I know there will be someone who will tell you that they need and want you here.

That you matter.

That you must not leave.

 

Summer Camp

When the school year winds down and summer is around the corner, A and T start to prepare for summer camp.  Since Hubby and I both work full time, they need something to do in the summer to keep them from going in insane from boredom and me from going insane from two bored kids […]

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Cora

Cora_dog1

It was three years ago when we said goodbye to our sweet little pug Meg.  She was my first baby and we miss her very much.  Sammy and Willow the Samoyeds are awesome dogs but I felt like we were missing a littler furry member of the family. Puppy fever hit out of the blue […]

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Failure

Fail

I recognize that I am a negative thinker.  I am constantly mentally berating myself for not living up to the impossible standards I have for myself. Failure. I think that word so often.  Even in success I can find some failure within it. I wonder where this harshness for myself came from.  I don’t remember […]

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Do I Have Anything More To Say

I was recently reminded that my blog has been around for almost four years now.  It’s natural to look around and see other blogs that have been around that long and compare.  Some are fairing far better than my own.  You know, folks who actually write regularly and engage all over the blogosphere.  And some […]

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Time. It does fly.

When you haven’t written for a while, I think you get a complex about “what should I write about first” when you actually get around to writing.  Is this good enough to be the first post after months of silence?  Why would I write about this after all this time?  Why would anyone want to […]

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Virtual 5K #TNTDuel

I CAN DO THIS

Well I just finished my second 5K.  I haven’t moved this far since my first 5K years ago.  I have done some running and walking since then but not a 5K.  This time I walked the whole thing since I have pretty much done no activity for quite a while. I missed the Diva Dash […]

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#iPPP: Pumpkin Patch

IMG_2452

A few weeks back we went to a pumpkin patch to play and pick out pumpkins.  It was a very warm day which made it a little strange.  We went through the corn maze, sweating profusely.  I’m not the biggest fan of the corn maze since I tend to get a little panicky being closed […]

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This Body Needs An Instruction Manual

We are born with these bodies that we need to take care of for our lifetime.  As babies, our parents are the ones who make sure our bodies are taken care of.  They feed and clothe us and as we grow, they continue to guide how we keep our bodies functioning and safe. Then we […]

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