He leaves on Friday. My oldest will be off to college. He’s an official adult now and about to leave the comfort of home and go off into the world on his own.
I’ve teared up a few times. I’ve been pretty close to crying. I think I haven’t quite felt it be completely real yet.
He and my other stepsons were here last night and we went to dinner to celebrate and I made a cake. A and T made cards to say how they will miss him. He seems pretty even keeled about the whole thing. I know I was very nervous at that age but he handles it quite well.
This morning I was just looking around the hallway at the clutter. I was making mental notes about how I need to organize the mess. At some point. I noticed that there are still papers from last school year piled up that must be dealt with and I wondered when I would make the time to get to it.
And that was it. The tears started up. I held it together until I dropped off A and T at camp but then I let them flow freely.
I guess it was noting how fast time passes. Maybe. I’m not really sure why that particular moment put a crack in the dam that I have had up.
I know it was just a crack though. I can still feel the pressure of emotion building up.
The last time I’ll see him before he’s off to school is Thursday night. I wonder if I can keep it together in front of him or will I just let it go.
My mom hardly ever cried when I was a kid. She’s one of those glass half full types. But I vividly remember how she cried her eyes out as she got into the car to leave me down at college. I cried quite a bit myself. I was very, very homesick at first.
He’s knows we’ll miss him. We have told him many times. And he can see it in our faces.
I’m so very proud of him. And I know he will do well.
But I will really miss him.