I wrote a post about our winter vacation and when I first wrote it, I left a few visuals out. And there was only one reason for it. When I looked at them, all I could see was how big I have gotten.
One was this photo of me and the kids relaxing on the catamaran after snorkeling. I am sitting and they are laying on me. I’m right in the middle and, to me, I take up most of the photo.
The other is a video. The kids and I are dancing around on the boat with King Julien and Gloria. Fun music and dancing. But I see me blocking the view of the kids and looking big.
I didn’t include those when I first wrote the post because I was afraid of what others would think.
“Wow, she really looks big”
“She has let herself go”
“How could she let that happen to her”
I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I tend to hide away from the camera because of it.
But then I looked again.
In the photo, I am smiling. It was a good day. A fun day. And the kids were having so much fun and tiring themselves out. We are happy.
In the video T is so excited to be dancing, his newest found fun. A loves dancing too. And I love dancing. We are there together dancing and having fun. It is great how T is trying hard to learn the Macarena. We are happy.
I don’t want to hide our fun, I want to share it.
And I don’t want to hide from the fun, I want to be a part of it.
I may not be happy about my weight right now but that is not what is important.
Life is important. Living it with my family is what is important.
I can work on myself while also being a part of life. No more hiding.