There has been a lot of struggle, tragedy and sadness lately. Some close and some far. I have a heavy heart for so many people lately.
For myself, I have been struggling as my anxiety and depression creeps back in. Who knows which came first, the sadness I’ve been seeing or the sadness I’ve been feeling. It doesn’t matter really.
I know that I have to step back and look at how I’m coping. Sometimes I can handle a little extra stress and sometimes I just can’t.
Honestly I hate taking medications. You would find that funny if you could see the pharmacy of crap I take for various things and my history of trying pretty much everything under the sun for my chronic migraines. I seem to be über sensitive to the side effects of most things. And, just for kicks, my body can come up with new and doctor stumping side effects. Like when an ADHD medication caused frightening suicidal thoughts and my doctor had never heard of that happening before but once I stopped the medication, they were gone.
So I try to avoid changes in medication or supplements as much as possible.
But after crying in two different neurologist appointments, I had to admit that, sometimes, you just have to up your meds.
So at my next psyche appointment we talked about options and decided a small increase would be good. It’s been about a week and a half and I can feel that it is taking the edge off a bit more that it was before.
I am still having nightmares though and trouble sleeping. I feel like there is still a cloud that I can’t shake yet.
But we’ll see how it goes. I have gotten pretty good a paying attention to my body and mind. Writing out my thoughts and feeling in this space has helped me to understand myself better.
It’s a journey, this life thing. Ups, downs, loops. What a ride.