Meme posts Archives - According to Denise

PYHO: Diet and Migraines – A Month of GF/DF

15 May By Denise

It has been a little over a month since I went dairy free and gluten free. When I started I really expected a change. I had test results that I could see that indicated issues with dairy. I thought, “finally this is it”.

But so far I don’t see anything good. My headaches have actually been worse. Granted, the barometric pressure has been conspiring against me as well so who’s to say where the failure lies.

Not to mention I’ve also been trying supplements to help my headaches and stabilize nutrient deficiencies at the same time. In other words I’ve changed a flurry of variables and am left with no positive results and no clear villain to blame.

Unless of course I just blame myself which is a favorite pastime.

So where do I go from here?

I am miserable. The chronic pain is exhausting and frustrating and the dietary restrictions are annoying.

I’ve had in the back of my mind for a long while that I just might have to eliminate virtually everything to see if I can make a dent in this pain cycle. Go full on raw vegan for at least some short period to see if helps. To see if I can begin to identify any food villains.

But I have been afraid of feeling deprived. Of having nothing to eat. Of feeling like utter crap.

I feel that way now. So how much worse could it get?

I know it could be bad. I have attempted detoxes with food before and I end up curled up in the fetal position in horrible pain and pukimg my guts out.

Guess that means I’m pretty toxic.

Maybe I need to be simpler. Focus on what to add instead of what to subtract. I used to be good about having green smoothies but I got out of the habit. Maybe if I focused on increasing my fruits and vegetables. Have green smoothies everyday and snack on fruits and veggies. Increase my water intake.

It seems that would be gentler to my system and allow for moderation instead of deprivation.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m miserable and I feel like my body is screaming at me that it needs something but I have no idea what it is. And I have no idea how to figure it out.

I wish I had some sort of reset button. Some way to start over without shocking my system into rebellion.

Why can’t I find something that helps? There has to be something. Because I’m breaking and I need something to mend me.

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: Chronic pain, Gluten free, Headache, Meme posts, Migraine

8 Comments

Calm My Crazy: Let It Go

23 Nov By Denise

You may have noticed that this month on Fridays my Calm My Crazy meme basically disappeared. I didn’t really intend to have it go away silently. But this month has been a little extra crazy.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and have been trying to reset my priorities. I’ve been very overwhelmed attempting to do everything I want to and that leads to neglecting those things to which I need to attend.

I have realized that I prefer to link up with the memes hosted by others more than I like hosting my own. So, with that realization, I decided that I needed to practice letting things go and, sadly, this meme is one thing to let go.

I created the meme to force myself to write about something good, happy, calming each week but really that only added unnecessary pressure on myself. I can reflect on the good without writing about it or I can simply be in the moment with my family and enjoy it. That seems more important to me than making myself write each Friday.

This space is a gift to myself. A place where I can freely express my thoughts and feelings. I don’t need to create rules for myself to follow as that takes some of the fun out of it.

So I will let it go. Say goodbye. And that will help to Calm My Crazy.

Filed Under: Calm My Crazy Tagged With: Blogging, Meme posts, On my mind, Working on myself

4 Comments

Calm My Crazy: Bloggy Friends

26 Oct By Denise

I have met a lot of fabulous people through blogging. At first it was through comments on each other’s blogs or conversations on Twitter. Then I went to Bloggy Boot Camp and got to meet so many bloggy friends in person.

Since then I hung out with Kristen from The Preppy Girl in Pink and Kristin from What She Said for a fabulous evening of Magic Mike and tapas. I almost got to see Ilene from The Fierce Diva Guide To Life when we were on vacation near her neck of the woods. And through working as a Community Lead at The SITS Girls I’ve been able to text and Skype with Adrienne from The Mommy Mess.

It has been so fun to see these folks in real life that I feel connections with through my computer. I will get a chance again next week to see many folks as I head to Chicago for another Bloggy Boot Camp.

Another fun part of making friends through blogging is being able to write for each other. Adrienne asked me to write a guest post for her blog and I was so excited! It is such an honor to be asked.

So head on over there today when I talk about my mommy mess and have a look around. You’ll love her.

Check out this post to find out more about the Calm My Crazy meme. This weekly post is for me and for you. A place to share our moment of calm. Something that brings us a little peace and happiness in a world of crazy.

Filed Under: Calm My Crazy Tagged With: Bloggy Love, friendship, Meme posts

9 Comments

Calm My Crazy: The Dreaded Exercise

19 Oct By Denise

If I’m being totally honest with myself, I will have to grudgingly admit that exercise calms me. And I’ve ranted and raved here before about all my struggles with getting off my ass and exercising.

Recently a friend said something on Facebook about how you never regret exercising. I have to also admit that this is true.

I am fairly certain that I have never finished exercising and thought to myself “Wow, I really wish I hadn’t done that, I feel just terrible now.”

I have worked out when feeling a bit under the weather and even when I have been battling a migraine (though not a debilitating one). And I still haven’t regretted exercise.

So, you think this post would end with me promising myself (and you) that I will starting moving, I will start exercising. But I know better than that. I’m tired of breaking promises to myself and others.

So I won’t promise. But I will try. Again. And again. And again.

And forever, I will try. I always try. Never give up.

Filed Under: Calm My Crazy, Health and Wellness Tagged With: Exercise, Meme posts, Working on myself

6 Comments

Memories Captured: Go Hawks

18 Oct By Denise

My daughter’s cheer squad got the chance to cheer along with the local high school varsity squad and the girls were so excited. It brought back so many memories of my own cheer days seeing her down there on the track by the field.

Linking up with Memories Captured

Filed Under: Family and Parenting Tagged With: Kids, Meme posts, Photos

14 Comments

PYHO: Sometimes you have to up your meds

10 Oct By Denise

There has been a lot of struggle, tragedy and sadness lately. Some close and some far. I have a heavy heart for so many people lately.

For myself, I have been struggling as my anxiety and depression creeps back in. Who knows which came first, the sadness I’ve been seeing or the sadness I’ve been feeling. It doesn’t matter really.

I know that I have to step back and look at how I’m coping. Sometimes I can handle a little extra stress and sometimes I just can’t.

Honestly I hate taking medications. You would find that funny if you could see the pharmacy of crap I take for various things and my history of trying pretty much everything under the sun for my chronic migraines. I seem to be über sensitive to the side effects of most things. And, just for kicks, my body can come up with new and doctor stumping side effects. Like when an ADHD medication caused frightening suicidal thoughts and my doctor had never heard of that happening before but once I stopped the medication, they were gone.

So I try to avoid changes in medication or supplements as much as possible.

But after crying in two different neurologist appointments, I had to admit that, sometimes, you just have to up your meds.

So at my next psyche appointment we talked about options and decided a small increase would be good. It’s been about a week and a half and I can feel that it is taking the edge off a bit more that it was before.

I am still having nightmares though and trouble sleeping. I feel like there is still a cloud that I can’t shake yet.

But we’ll see how it goes. I have gotten pretty good a paying attention to my body and mind. Writing out my thoughts and feeling in this space has helped me to understand myself better.

It’s a journey, this life thing. Ups, downs, loops. What a ride.

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: ADHD, Anxiety, Chronic pain, Depression, Getting personal, Headache, Meme posts, Migraine, Stress, Working on myself

14 Comments

Calm My Crazy: All Fired Up

5 Oct By Denise

On the rare occasions where I work out, I like to start with this song. I find it inspiring and like a good kick in the ass.

I’ve even made a ringtone out of it. It is in my head a lot.

Pat Benatar’s “All Fired Up” just rocks.

I actually love many of her songs. They make me feel powerful. Some might say, “Invicible”

But the these lyrics in “All Fired Up” really resonate.

Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line
We live an’ learn from our mistakes
The deepest cuts are healed by faith

Although I don’t necessarily adhere to traditional religious faith, I do have faith.

I have faith in people. Faith that things will work out some how, some way.

Faith in the universe and balance, if you will.

I believe those four lines very strongly. They speak to me and when I’m feeling darkest, these words can remind me of the light.

Filed Under: Calm My Crazy Tagged With: Getting personal, Meme posts, On my mind, Videos

6 Comments

PYHO: You need to be quiet, Mommy has a headache

3 Oct By Denise

I hate saying it. Really HATE it. Hate when Hubby has to say it or when the kids say it to each other.

Tuesday was a rough day for my head. The pain was worse than in the last few weeks. I particularly dislike the feeling of an ice pick through my eyeball.

When the kids got off the bus, I was pretty fragile from working all day with the pain. They walked in and immediately got on each other’s nerves.

A has a bit of trouble using an inside voice so she can really pierce my eardrums and hurt my head. As she got louder, I put my hand up to her mouth and told her that if she couldn’t be quiet, she would have to go to her room away from me. How is that fair? She wasn’t really doing anything all that wrong. But I just couldn’t take the sound.

Then I asked them to unload all their school stuff and start their homework while I lay on the couch with my eyes closed. Waiting for Hubby to come home so I could get to a quieter place.

I can’t stand how much my headaches impact those around me. They are just kids, they should be able to be (reasonably) loud without constantly being told to be quiet. They shouldn’t have to feel like they are causing me pain just by playing.

It all around sucks. For everyone.

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: Family and Parenting, Headache, Meme posts, Migraine

14 Comments

Calm My Crazy: My Brain

28 Sep By Denise

Yesterday I read a post over at Babble by the awesome Cecily Kellogg about living with her broken brain. It really spoke to me because I could see myself in her words.

You guys know about my struggles with chronic migraines, anxiety, depression, ADHD. I write a lot about the pain and emotions. The never ending attempts at relief.

I can get pretty angry about it. Cursing myself. Feeling as if it is all my fault. Hating my brain.

But Cecily spoke to me. Reminded me that my brain is also wonderful.

My brain is logical. It is inquisitive. It makes me good at my job.

My brain makes me empathetic and kind. Loving. A good wife and mother.

My brain makes me who I am.

A strong woman who doesn’t give up.

Filed Under: Calm My Crazy Tagged With: ADHD, Anxiety, Chronic pain, Depression, Headache, Meme posts, Mental Health, Migraine, Working on myself

6 Comments

Calm My Crazy: Hope

21 Sep By Denise

My heart aches for my family this week. I wasn’t sure what I could write about. I can’t even begin to imagine what those closest to the one we lost must be feeling.

I stepped back a little to breathe and regroup. I realized that part of what I am so angry and upset about is because we hoped for good and the bad still came.

Honestly, I’m not one for praying. But I hoped and put my faith in goodness and love. I thought good, positive thoughts and hoped with all my heart. I guess that is really just my version of praying.

I look at hope as one of those round life preservers they always throw overboard at people on TV. You have to hold onto it or it will do you no good.

I feel like many times I am grasping at it, flailing around trying to get that hope back. Because there are so many times I feel hopeless. Depression, anxiety and chronic pain can dash your hope away.

This time I was grasping and hoping for another. I wish from the bottom of my heart that it would have been enough. That hope could always be enough.

Hope is what we have to lift us up when we think there is nowhere to go but down. It doesn’t always work out they way we want but we can’t give up hope for what comes next.

Hope that things will get better. Somehow. Someday.